She said she wanted to get high. He took her to the tallest hill in town. She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink. He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said "drink up." She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face. He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger, aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger. She said that she wanted to cut herself. He took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors, and had her cut it up. She said that she wanted to see her blood. He took her to get her ears pierced. She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep. He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed. She said she wanted to be alone. He gave her a name tag that said "My name is: Alone".
I’m dead serious. I’m not fishing for anyone’s compliments. That’s just how I really feel about myself. I think I’m “okay” looking though. But overall, I think I’m unattractive. There’s much more prettier and beautiful girls out there, that there’s too much that I can’t even count. Everything they do is better and cuter than what I do, even when they make silly faces or act stupid. I wish I was more attractive. I honestly wish I was one of those girls.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.